About me, Wouter Rudolph Verwer, in regard to ceremonial art creation Roundtable SaN;
My Mother is a big inspiration for me. She is with an enthusiasm and joy for life, and this sparked onto me, and my 2 siblings. When I was a teen, my Mum worked for a protocol company in the Netherlands. That company stepped in support of big events in how to welcome people. Often classical music events at Dutch Royal Palace. One of the events was the wedding of the Dutch Royal Couple in 2002. My mother guided hotel students how to welcome the likes of Nelson Mandela. I don’t know how she did this in this modern day world; she lived from the heart. Of course, as a child, I soaked this in. She made me go to classes for a year of Vienna waltz. Me, as a troubling swearing at home watching Hollywood and listening Nirvana teen, all nice outside at school!!! Pretty impressive how she brought me to dance in Dutch elite society. I really enjoyed it. My Mother told me, later in life, that I was living her dream. (She might have said this to all us siblings) Can you imagine, for my life is not that easy. In short, I am deeply loved by my Mother.
I am not trying to sell myself here. This story, I share, is I think important for people to have a change to read about how this roundtable SaN has come about. This SaN creation has comes from inside.
On this picture you might see a hippie. The truth is very different, or maybe not that far depending how you describe a hippie to be. Nothing wrong with a Hippie, though. I love rainbow gatherings. But I am not able to use drugs or smoke of that kind of medicine. I wouldn’t be able to return to earth, I think. Here I gift a rose to the water with my parental family, to honour our Mums passing into eternal Love.
The main agony in my life started, when I learned Chess as a young child. Around that time I also fell on my forehead. Something deep entered me, that is not me. It was not pleasant, say the least. The start of a profound deep journey, in how I am to walk, to dissolve that painful conditioned division in the patriarch, that affects so many men negatively in our world today. My Dad, CEO of E.on Benelux and not home so much of course, is a kind man. I once played piano at home with the Dutch Prime Minister Lubbers as a teen. This was all very normal to us, as a family. My dad has helped and supported me a lot throughout the years. We have our challenges and we are all very loving with each other as a family, despite the differences.
19 years ago, when I was 28, in 2007, I heard inside of me, that I am to evolve the chess game. At the time I just stepped foot into an isolation cell in a mental hospital. I was stepping into madness, knowing inside of me a huge paradox; this is what I had been waiting for most of my life. What I saw then in a flash was the living light in each unique individual human being. I saw; the human is so exquisitely beautiful. Such deep and profound pure Love. Very confusing indeed, to suddenly see that beauty in today’s world. That would drive anyone mad. I have come to see through 12 extreme episodes, that I went through during a period of 16 years, warning visions from within the micro cosmos. As within (micro), so without (macro). Visions that I see coming partly true in 2026. When will we as moderns listen, to what we still call an illness? As I understand First Nation people, likely see this as a descending into the spirit world, as a calling for Shamanic work. As I understand ancient times, experiences like this are likely also described as descending into the underworld. Mainstream religious views likely project this as being possessed by demonic forces. The modern day psychiatry doctors whom I met, described the episodes I experienced as Psychosis as further undefined. Of course; may you accuse and direct my generalisation here, not to any individual human in particular.
During that first episode I saw the exquisite beauty in each human being. I wondered where did these emergence episodes come from? What does this all mean for me? What do I get to see and what to do with this? I have worked those years intimately with my parental family, whom supported me financially and still do. So Grateful for ! It was not always easy for all of us, as my energy levels were low, and deep rest seemed needed for me, throughout more then over a decade. In that deep rest, I seemed to process deep matter, to be able to start my work as what I later understood to be of a ceremonial artist.
In 2016, I started meditating every day for a year on evolving Chess. After about a year, I started drawing the design of roundtable SaN. When I asked, in my back garden, on Albion Land, is it okay if I use this design Peace Mandala pattern on roundtable SaN, two bees landed down on the middle of the drawing, on top of each other. Truly a micro world cosmic answer. I experienced this as such deep Love feelings of blissful happiness.
This Art work I started with the intent for foregiveness towards South Africa. I called the game SaN, by seeing a pyramid of these 3 letters within “dAd” standing above me and me under him as a “SoN”. I did this in thinking to support healing for the masculine lineage, in all respect and love of my parents. So too transform the chess pattern of division that I so often played as a child, into unity. I only found out later that the first people, the bushmen of South Africa, are named (likely by the Dutch) the SAN people. I was born in the Netherlands.
in 2019 I started sharing the story “A gift to the Queen, from pieces to Peace”. Here I tell the story of the impact of chess in our human consciousness, in our society, in our way of leadership, land ownership at the cost of life, and so on. Only diabolic system wins, with no respect for life. I tell this story as a mythical Dreamtime story, of chess illuminating through compass-ion into SaN.
First I shared this with my beloved partner and few friends, in the village where I live. Then I shared story amongst a group of dear friends at one of my teachers healing friends home in Amsterdam, followed by my parental family, with 2 families of my siblings, of which I am very grateful for. Later I shared this story with some of my student friends. (I studied one year architecture and completed technical management). Further I invited some of my high school friends and tried to gather friends from childhood. But unfortunately didn’t manage to manifest that, for all our enjoyment. I have shared the story at different festivals, at a crazy-wise event, on the land outside close to where I live, and in peoples home. A very special day in an Ubuntu temple in Cape Town, also, just before I visited the White Lions in Timbavati.
In the winter in December 2022, I learned about the White Lioness Marah in Timbavati, whom is prophesied by the Bushmen Shamans. I realised in mythical sense, she is here to guide humanity in returning to Humane nature, that is to care for nature and humans. As I understand being in natural Humane service in a wholesome and such profound heart centred way. I realised she is Queen, completing the Aquarian mind full circle into the heart. I dedicate the Roundtable SAN to her.
In 2023 we started playing roundtable SaN in a local Cafe at Emerson College. Since then I have played it, and this game continues to grow in inner wealth. Donations that were made have been given to the White Lion Trust, and are continued to be given as such.
In 2023 I also started to walk daily round spiral meditation walk in “Santih Sanskrit Peace” from inner developed mantra praying chanting practice. This walk is based on the Peace Mandala pattern of roundtable SaN. This walk has become my daily medicine, for my mental well being.
In 2024 I spent three nights and days in the dark in my own room at home. Not sure why. What came out of that, is that I heard inside my heart, that I can call myself a Ceremonial Artist. Wouter Rudolph Verwer is my parental given name. Wouter is originated in Germanic language as guardian of the Woods. Rudolph is originated in Germanic Language as famous Wolf. I also see this relates to Rudolph the red nose reindeer, being able to travel deep through the cold, to give presents to children for and from humane nature. And Verwer is from my masculine lineage, meaning trader in indigo paints. Indigo is a colour of Peace for me. Therefor in honour, love and respect of my personal origins, my ceremonial artistic name is as written below here. Thank you.
I have been gifted internally ,as I see, by the spirit Peacemaker (see page Peace Cloud), to be able to make and create this Roundtable SaN. Sharing this in sincere deep gratitude; I had to go really deep, to be able to change a system like chess, that I see as a debt system with no respect to nature and thus humane nature. And yet I can understand from within my thinking, the system chess, might have been a solution a long time ago, to even more devastating happenings then.
The creation of SaN roundtable return system as medicine for the modern mind, is my purpose and my destiny in this life. This is so clear to me. I am lucky to know my purpose. I pray and hopi that in sharing my purpose, I help prevent people having to go through such though rough painful journeys in life of descending into the micro cosmos of modern time. I pray and Hopi that I gift humans the possibility to learn about themselves and their destiny through Star Wisdom, in circular community, guided by the animal and plant wisdom, to return in life and grow into heavenly gifted humane natural awareness. My effort is to give this in a modern context, by sharing roundtable SaN. In life I see ALLways light through living vortex. I have come to see, in the example my Mum was and is in memory for me, that each individual human is so So absolutely beautiful. May your humans life journey be rooted with the heaven Earth Mother, in full connection with the cosmic heavens, be light hearted, with a smile and full of beauty. I thank you for reading this.
ALL playful Peace Blessings,
by Ceremonial Artist;
Woods Rudolph Indigo Fairy
Mathomologist 